God's Exquisite Garden CHOOSING A HUSBAND Print version Our choice of a mate is an extremely important decision. Once a woman chooses a man to become her husband, he is her companion, the father of their children and the ruler of their home. Larger image Before she gets caught up in the planning of a wedding, she needs to give much thought into this serious matter of selecting a mate. It is vitally important that she select a godly man who will understand what it means to be her head. He knows Jesus' teachings and he is a committed Christian. It is written of Christ,"He is head of the body, the church; he is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that he might come to have first place in everything."Colossians 1:18 As God taught the Jews, He gave them commandments to be obeyed. One commandment was their not marrying outside of His people. We read in Deuteronomy 7:3-4," Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the Lord will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly." God does not want us to marry those who might lead us away from Him. We are warned about marrying mates who are not believers of the Lord and how that can lead us into apostasy. The word apostasy means a rejection of your beliefs (often in favor of opposing beliefs). Another meaning of apostasy is a total desertion or departure from a cause. The Old Testament is there for our learning. Over and over we read of people marrying outside their lands into foreign lands. In these foreign lands, the people did not follow the Lord's commands. Anyone who married a person from another land was highly risking falling into apostasy. We read in II Corinthians 6:14,"Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" When I think of a yoke, I have a mental picture of two oxen plowing with a yoke joining them together in that effort. The Jews did not plow a field with an ox and an ass yoked together. The animals had to be of the same breed. God commanded it that way. In Leviticus 19:19 we read," You shall keep my statutes. You shall not let your livestock breed with another kind. You shall not sow your field with mixed seed. Nor shall a garment of mixed linen and wool come upon you. " " So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. "Matthew 19:6 The Lord God has continually wanted His people to keep in the forefront of their minds that they are separate from the world. " Therefore , come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean and I will receive you."II Corinthians 6:17 We need to stop and put much thought into any marriage proposal. The man you marry will need to have values close to yours, and he will need to be kind and gentle. We should both want a Christian household. Is the man you are considering to be your prospective husband a faithful Christian? Ask yourself, "Will he help me get to heaven, or will he turn me away from the Lord's teachings?" We want to make certain he understands we are to be faithful to each other as Christ was to His church. Am I determined to be faithfully devoted to him and him alone? If the woman wants children, they both need to discuss this before she buys the invitations. In all decisions the woman and the man need to agree. We read in Revelation 21:2," And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." Before the woman chooses her wedding gown, the man and woman both need to sit down and seriously talk about how they would raise their children. The woman needs to ask herself, "Will he provide and care deeply for me and the children and put us second only to God and Jesus Christ? Has he broken the apron strings or will he compare me always to his mother?" "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6 When we think of what that term " homemaker" really means, it is an honor to be able to stay home and make the home a Godly home. Even if you are only able to stay home for a couple of years with your children, you can give them a firm foundation. Years ago I heard a story of a young recently married couple. This couple had a car accident. The man's injuries were not serious, but his wife's injuries were very serious, because of the side of the car she was in when the accident occurred. Her face was massively disfigured and she would need a lot of extended surgery to correct her facial injuries. Her surgeries were spread out over a few years. As she was in such pain, her husband rarely left her side. He truly loved and cared for her until her physical beauty was restored. Then he continued to love and care for her, they grew old together. He showed her unconditional love. I was told the story was true. Ask yourself these questions: Will he love me as I get older? Does he want to grow old along side of me? Does he want to be married to me until death parts us? Will I be able to balance being a wife, possibly a mother and then needing to work? And will I find happiness being a wife, mother and a homemaker? Jesus Christ has unconditional love for us. He died for us and rose again and ascended to heaven to be with God, His Father. We need to have unconditional love for our spouses and our children. " Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. " Ephesians 5:33 Discussion and study questions: (1) What can happen if a woman marries a husband who is not a believer ? (2) Why is it so important to marry a godly man? (3) What example do we have of same breed of animals teamed together? (4) What did God continually want his people to keep forefront in their minds? (5) What Biblical example of unconditional love do we have? Lookup a word or passage in the Bible Include this form on your page Copyright 2007 Linda Lawrence Lessons in this Series About The Author Print Version of All Lessons Lesson 1 Attitude Lesson 2 The Mind of Christ Lesson 3 Imitate Christ Lesson 4 Communication Lesson 5 Taming the Tongue Lesson 6 Our Legacy Lesson 7 Compassion Lesson 8 Confidence Lesson 9 Courage Lesson 10 Gossip Lesson 11 Honesty Lesson 12 Profanity Lesson 13 Improper Language . . Lesson 14 Faith Lesson 15 Encouragement Lesson 16 Humility Lesson 17 Assurance Lesson 18 Perseverance Lesson 19 Strength to Endure Suffering Lesson 20 Grieve Not The Spirit Lesson 21 Understanding Lesson 22 Knowledge Lesson 23 Wisdom Lesson 24 Purity in Heart Lesson 25 Trust Lesson 26 Obedience . . Lesson 27 Happiness Lesson 28 Contentment Lesson 29 Optimism Lesson 30 Inner Peace Lesson 31 Self-Control Lesson 32 Our Example Lesson 33 Patience Lesson 34 Concern Lesson 35 Testing Of Our Faith Lesson 36 Mercy Lesson 37 Grace Lesson 38 Problems Concerning Failure Lesson 39 Practical Results . . Lesson 40 Good Works Lesson 41 Women Teachers in Bible Times Lesson 42 Women Teachers Today Lesson 43 Having Good Friends Lesson 44 Choosing a Husband Lesson 45 Choosing a Wife Lesson 46 The Exemplary Daughter Part 1 Lesson 47 The Exemplary Daughter Part 2 Lesson 48 The Ideal Mother Part 1 Lesson 49 The Ideal Mother Part 2 Lesson 50 The Home As God Would Have It Part 1 Lesson 51 The Home As God Would Have It Part 2 Lesson 52 Impurity, . . Lesson 53 Marriage As God Would Have It Part 1 Lesson 54 Marriage As God Would Have It Part 2 Lesson 55 The Virtuous Woman Part 1 Lesson 56 The Virtuous Woman Part 2 Lesson 57 The Virtuous Woman Part 3 Lesson 58 Love Lesson 59 Morality Lesson 60 Pride & Haughtiness Lesson 61 Kindness Lesson 62 Respect Lesson 63 Modesty Lesson 64 Lying Lesson 65 Lewdness . . Lesson 66 Incomprehensible God Lesson 67 Unsearchable Riches Lesson 68 Infinite God Lesson 69 Holiness of God Lesson 70 Righteousness of God Lesson 71 Attendance Lesson 72 Omnipresence of God Lesson 73 Omniscience of God . .

Before You Say I Do, Revised and Expanded By H. Norman Wright / Harvest House Publishers Would you like to have a successful, joyful marriage? Do you want to know more about your loved one's dreams and goals for your union? Wright's book provides the perfect opportunity to gain greater insights into your future mate's expectations and time-tested principles for a satisfying lifelong partnership. Through interactive surveys, thoughtful questions, and real-life examples, your relationship will deepen as you uncover areas of harmony and potential areas of discord.

Rocking the Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage By Robert Lewis / Nav Press Ozzie and Harriet are long gone, and nobody wants to return to the "traditional" roles of the 50s. Yet couples today are discovering that roleless, supposedly "50-50" marriages are confusing, unsatisfying, and impractical. Learn to build a better marriage based not on sexist stereotypes, but on biblical principles of structure and complementary equality.